Beauty didn't kill the beast, Jackson did

Boxing Day included going to the mall to watch all the other people in search of bargains, which were not to be found. The only place I seriously looked at anything was Gap. And there was nothing spectacular about their sales. In fact, there were none. Yes, there were the usual and typical sales, but nothing to warrant Boxing Day. Which brings me to the conclusion that Boxing Day is not what it once was: the day when everything is always on sale for that day only. Shit, just even give me an extra 15% off and I will be happy.

I did manage to get to Sears this morning just in time for the scratch & save; only got the minimum 10% that everyone will get, but there was also the 25% discount on Roots bedding, and Doc's 15% staff discount. In reality I got a new sheet set including 4 pillow cases for 50% off, and two new pillows for 75% off (the pillows were at 50% + 15% + 10%).

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King Kong.

Waste of time.

Peter Jackson is fat.

Peter Jackson makes bad movies.

This is why:

1. King Kong = LoTR


2. The Ape = The Ring


3. Carl Denham (Jack Black) = Gollum


4. Jack Driscoll (Adrian Brody) = Frodo


5. Naomi Watts = Liv Tyler = Useless prop with no purpose in the story

Major flaws of the movie:

• the use of chloroform to anesthetise the ape; the amount required to render a 'victim' unconscious is quite close to the amount required to kill the victim


• the senseless and useless extra characters, particularly Mr. Hayes and Jimmy and their relationship; are they lovers? fighters? martyrs?; this relationship comes from nowhere, dominates the plot for a brief hour, then dissipates and dissappears as quickly as it appeared, and with no reason for either


• it took nearly an hour of film to get the damn ape passed out and "captured", a process which kills half of the cast, yet, it only takes about 3 seconds and white wash to get the ape from the island and onto the boat, then back to New York and in a Broadway show at Times Square; I found this to be completely unbelievable! how does the ape get on the boat? how do they keep the ape drugged up for the four or five day ride back to New York?


• what happens to the Captain Englehorn and Jimmy? we spend so much time getting to know both of these characters, but then they cease to be useful (if ever they were in the beginning) and are tossed aside to do what? continue on the open seas having more adventures?


• Naomi Watts did convince me that she was tortured and had an emotional connection with the ape...oh wait, I think I saw that movie already, Gorillas in the Mist; but it's not like they're going to move to the Hamptons and host house parties for other parents from the preschool to which they send their humanape offspring


• dinosaurs on an island chasing people and trying to eat the people? I've also seen this movie before too, the Jurassic Park Quadology (the fourth installment is being released in 2006)

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I knew this movie would suck even before I went to see it. I was going to see Fun with Dick & Jane, but that was showing in the sloped theatre, which has a smaller screen and smaller seats and smaller sound and is the same price as a ticket to a stadium theatre with a big screen and big seats and big sound.

But this also brings me to another problem:

All the Christmas release movies are remakes of old movies!

• King Kong


• Fun with Dick and Jane


• The Producers

Are there no NEW ideas in Hollywood?