28 March 2008

Twilight Radio Zone

Jesse: "Led Zeppelin is booking more shows for a comeback tour."

Me: "They only did the one off show to decide if profit margins were high enough to warrant a tour."

J: "Led Zeppelin could get on stage and fart Stairway to Heaven and people would buy tickets."

J: "Hey! Deanna Troy turns 53 today."

Brooksie: "Who?"

J: "Deanna Troy.....Star Trek Next Generation."

B: "Sorry, I don't have as much time as I once had to sit in front of the tv and masturbate to Star Trek characters."

M: [laughter]

B: "How many Star Treks are there?"

J: "Original, Next Generation, DS9, Enterprise, and Voyager."

M: "How about 'Star Trek: Voyeur'; no plot, no story, just attractive aliens wearing almost nothing for nerds to masturbate to?"

[afterthought] : isn't that what the original Star Trek was?

20 March 2008


McDonald's has recently brought back the McRib; an apparently pork based product of congealed "meat", no less no doubt also including mulched hair, hooves, and hide.

And as I saw the television advertisement, I couldn't help but be reminded of the Simpsons episode (and I don't know which one) where Homer joins a Ribwich travelling freak show of dedicated Krusty Burger fans following the cross country staggering limited release of this fine porcine sandwich delight.

And it was this memory which caused me to subconsciously, nay unwillingly, divert myself to the nearest McDonald's haven of harbingers of heart clogging, fat building, diabetic coma inducing "food".

Now, I'm no sucker for gimmicks; I never order a drink (other than tap water), and I never order those nasty once-a-potato american fries. I order my McRib, without onions (who knows where Quique's hands were before picking that onion from a sweat-field in Mexico), and decide that it's not going to be enough to satiate the hunger within, I also order two double cheeze-burgers from the value menu, without onions.

Of course that goo resembling meat tasted great. I was hungry. As I chewed and swallowed my way to an earlier grave, I was transmogrified back to a time and place somewhere in my childhood when my imaginary friend would eat at McDonald's with me.

And I would like to end on a happy note right here. But I cannot.

Along with the McRib came the McGas and now the McPoo.


18 March 2008

use a satellite?

Then today is your day to mourn.

Arthur C. Clarke has died.

I won't spend much time regurgitating what you can already find; just take a minute to think about the impact on culture, science and technology that Clarke has had.

I would have to say that the Clarke Belt, the geosynchronous orbit place around the earth, was by far the coolest thing, as it was only hypothesis back in 1945, and now it basically allows satellites to run our lives (think GPS, think telecoms, think Sirius).