31 December 2005

as 2005 comes to its final moments...

...I pause to ponder...

is Canada stupid enough to trust him?


If Satan has a cousin, it's likely Martin.

29 December 2005

George from Seinfeld...in REAL LIFE!!!

There is an episode of Seinfeld called The Strike in which George gets a pair of cuff links as a Christmas gift from a co-worker.

Jerry: Nice cuff links, by the way.
George: Office Christmas gift. I tell you, this Human Fund is a gold mine!
Jerry: That's not a french cuff shirt, you know.
George: I know. I cut the button off and poked a hole with a letter opener.
Jerry: Classy.

I went to a nearby liquor store today after work in search of a bottle of wine for the evening.

The place reeked of cigarette smoke, which was kind of odd. Then the clerk didn't notice me standing at the cash for several minutes while he was off staring at a shelf full of liquor bottles.

He finally comes over, some old guy from Britain or Australia, I can never distinguish the accent, and, he's done the George!

I'm not making this up!

This old guy, classy and all, has .... done... the forbidden!!

Wearing cuff links with a shirt that doesn't have french cuffs! He just cut the buttons off and poked holes in the cuffs.

I feel dirty.

27 December 2005

Beauty didn't kill the beast, Jackson did

Boxing Day included going to the mall to watch all the other people in search of bargains, which were not to be found. The only place I seriously looked at anything was Gap. And there was nothing spectacular about their sales. In fact, there were none. Yes, there were the usual and typical sales, but nothing to warrant Boxing Day. Which brings me to the conclusion that Boxing Day is not what it once was: the day when everything is always on sale for that day only. Shit, just even give me an extra 15% off and I will be happy.

I did manage to get to Sears this morning just in time for the scratch & save; only got the minimum 10% that everyone will get, but there was also the 25% discount on Roots bedding, and Doc's 15% staff discount. In reality I got a new sheet set including 4 pillow cases for 50% off, and two new pillows for 75% off (the pillows were at 50% + 15% + 10%).

King Kong.

Waste of time.

Peter Jackson is fat.

Peter Jackson makes bad movies.

This is why:

  1. King Kong = LoTR

  2. The Ape = The Ring

  3. Carl Denham (Jack Black) = Gollum

  4. Jack Driscoll (Adrian Brody) = Frodo

  5. Naomi Watts = Liv Tyler = Useless prop with no purpose in the story

Major flaws of the movie:

  • the use of chloroform to anesthetise the ape; the amount required to render a 'victim' unconscious is quite close to the amount required to kill the victim

  • the senseless and useless extra characters, particularly Mr. Hayes and Jimmy and their relationship; are they lovers? fighters? martyrs?; this relationship comes from nowhere, dominates the plot for a brief hour, then dissipates and dissappears as quickly as it appeared, and with no reason for either

  • it took nearly an hour of film to get the damn ape passed out and "captured", a process which kills half of the cast, yet, it only takes about 3 seconds and white wash to get the ape from the island and onto the boat, then back to New York and in a Broadway show at Times Square; I found this to be completely unbelievable! how does the ape get on the boat? how do they keep the ape drugged up for the four or five day ride back to New York?

  • what happens to the Captain Englehorn and Jimmy? we spend so much time getting to know both of these characters, but then they cease to be useful (if ever they were in the beginning) and are tossed aside to do what? continue on the open seas having more adventures?

  • Naomi Watts did convince me that she was tortured and had an emotional connection with the ape...oh wait, I think I saw that movie already, Gorillas in the Mist; but it's not like they're going to move to the Hamptons and host house parties for other parents from the preschool to which they send their humanape offspring

  • dinosaurs on an island chasing people and trying to eat the people? I've also seen this movie before too, the Jurassic Park Quadology (the fourth installment is being released in 2006)

I knew this movie would suck even before I went to see it. I was going to see Fun with Dick & Jane, but that was showing in the sloped theatre, which has a smaller screen and smaller seats and smaller sound and is the same price as a ticket to a stadium theatre with a big screen and big seats and big sound.

But this also brings me to another problem:

All the Christmas release movies are remakes of old movies!

  • King Kong

  • Fun with Dick and Jane

  • The Producers

Are there no NEW ideas in Hollywood?

24 December 2005

Brokeback Mountain

Though this movie was officially released on December 09, it didn't get released in Alberta until tonight. And only on one screen at one theatre in Calgary. W and I drove up to Calgary this afternoon to see this long anticipated movie. I have not disliked any Ang Lee movie, and I was looking forward to Brokeback Mountain.

As with Mystery, Alaska, not only is it cool to see places in a movie which you've visited, but it's even better when it's the place you live. (No, I've never even been to Alaska, but this was filmed in Canmore Alberta, and I did live there a year after that production.) There is one scene early in Brokeback Mountain where the sheep are on the grassy side of a jagged and peaked slope. It's not quite a mountain top, but it is a unique formation, and a location which I've seen before, twice this summer on my bike. Most of the mountain scenes were shot near where I live.

In the theatre this evening, there were two full rows of fairly young teens who were quite rowdy and downright annoying. Hooting and hollering and all that nonsense. Making odd noises throughout the film. At one point, they all cheered a seemingly useless scene. Then, at the end, they all stayed for the credits (as did most people; that theatre did not clear out like most movies) and cheered...for their friend, Cheyenne Hill, who was not only in the film, but also in the theatre watching herself on the screen. That was kind of cool, in that eery, irony or coincidence kind of way.

I had already read Annie Proulx's short story, Brokeback Mountain, from which the film was written for the screen (if you click on the 'read from the book' link, you will get a pop-up with the full text of the short story). And to be honest, viewing the trailer was pretty much reading the short story. I wasn't all too sure how it would be stretched out into 134 minutes.

But this is Ang Lee!

I think I would discuss themes and memes from this film for hours. However, I'm not quite ready or in the mood to be doing such things at this late hour.

All I am saying is that it was a very good film. If you have a chance to see it, then go see it.

22 December 2005

one step closer

Telus has recently introduced (finally, I mean, years behind both Sasktel and MTS) television over phone line.

Personally, I don't like Telus. I've had history with them, and it's not pleasant. Both personal and business. One time, I tried to get a phone line for the company, and it was going to take 8 weeks to turn it on. EIGHT WEEKS??!!!?? That's just pathetic. That wouldn't happen in Saskatchewan. There's something to be said for crown corporations. And that something is always positive.

However, I'm not here to promote one or the other.

I don't watch tv because I don't own a tv. I can usually find better things to do with my time.

Yet, if I had a tv, I would not like to pay for cable service (or tv over phone line) because of this single reason: I want to buy individual channels, not a broad package of "themes" which Shaw or Rogers or Bell Expressvu have deemed appropriate.

If I want news, I want CBC and CNN. I don't care about CTV.

Anyway, it has always been my contention that I will never pay for tv signals until the time comes that I can purchase by channel, not by theme pack.

Telus has made this nearly possible with their new tv service offering.

It's not perfect. You've still got to buy a base pack of a bunch of channels I would never watch and therefore don't want to support by paying a fee. However, after that base, there is the option of buying individual channels.

Hopefully this trend will continue to a world where eventually all channels will be available individually.

Sure, keep the theme packs, but give me choice!

Speaking of choice...

Don't vote Liberal!!!

Vote for anyone but the fucking Liberals.

18 December 2005

how did they vote?

With the federal election coming up in January, there is much focus on the party leaders and what they say and do. The media coverage of these four (ought to be five) political figures often has the ability to sway a person's vote towards one party or another, often with little consequence or input from the local party candidate in a particular riding.

Though it is important to vote based on a party's platform, or to get rid of an anti-Canadian corrupt government, it's also more important to find out what your local MP does!!

Most MP's have their own websites. (And I would think that most candidates have their own websites too.)

I have found this site:

How'd They Vote?

A very detailed and useful source to find out how your local MP has voted in the last parliament, and what your MP has said in the House.

I don't care how you vote, just don't vote Liberal. It's time for Canada to be Canada again!! A Canada for the hard working people that have built this amazing country.

NOT a canada for enriching the already wealthy Liberals and their friends:
thieves who come to steal and destroy.

16 December 2005

i just vomited in my mouth

It seems that every time this man opens his mouth, I want to vomit in my own.

The guy is a liar. Watching and listening to Paul Martin is like watching Jim Carrey in Liar Liar. The only problem is that Paul is not funny.

I listened to the debates tonight on Radio One. It would have been nice to see the video along with the audio, but I didn't feel like getting out of bed to go to work.

Some points to make here:

  • Duceppe is right: health care is a provincial issue and ministry; Ottawa should only be transferring money to the provinces to administer health care

  • I really hate the Liberals; they've been ruining Canada for far too long; the big problem is that the problems we're facing now are the result of the Liberals from 12 years ago, people are just too stupid to see that they can't bring answers to fix the things which they broke

  • the Liberal party is not credible; all they've delivered in 12 years is broken promises and lies

  • I'm indifferent towards Harper; he's neither good or bad

  • I actually like Jack Layton and his charisma, a type of anglo-Trudeau

  • the NDP agenda would render a Canada that is reminiscent of a 1960's era Russia ~ communist and socialist

  • treason |ˈtrēzən|
    the crime of betraying one's country, especially by attempting to kill the sovereign or overthrow the government = Bloc Québecois

15 December 2005

two billion dollars couldn't even save her

"The type of gun you would use to shoot elephants"
~ Laval police chief Jean-Pierre Gariepy

François Pepin was banned from possessing any type of gun for ten years, beginning in 1999.

Yet Pepin was able to legally obtain a high powered rifle...for the purposes of hunting.

This is a direct result of Paul Martin's (and the Liberals') infamous precious gun registry boondoggle.

The Liberals can't even keep guns out of the hands of criminals who are buying the guns legally!!!

I'm certain that $2,000,000,000 could have gone a long way if it had been given to local police forces or even the RCMP or even the military. That would have done far more than that stupid gun registry failed to do. And for what? Dead cops. Gunned down by criminals banned from possessing guns who get them legally.

I'm just beside myself, disgusted once again, by the Liberals.

I've never believed any word of a Liberal to be credible. But I urge you, Ontario, to realise that the Liberals are not only liars, but a lame-duck government, lining their own pockets with your money! They aren't in Ottawa to make Canada, or make Canada better. The Liberals are in Ottawa to get rich off of your hard work.

Every vote for a Liberal kills another cop.

14 December 2005

Ontario: The New America!

Being a former resident of Ontario, I'm interested in what happens there.

And today was a day like no other, the Provincial Legislature was quite busy. Busy being busybodies passing into law a handful of bills which make Ontario the New America!


Harsh treatment for people suspected of growing marijuana. No, you don't actually have to be growing marijuana, just that you're suspected of it. And it's not even the police who have to suspect you, just your power company.

1984? Anyone? 1984!!

Any infringement on the rights of Canadian citizens to exercise their freedoms, including the freedom to run a greenhouse (whether or not for cultivating marijuana), is a slap in the face, a step backwards, and a step to be more american: anti-democratic.

People of Ontario!!! Take this to heart! Watch what your Liberal leaders are doing! They are in bed and in the pockets of Martin and his gaggle of gregarious gluttonous greeds.


The city of Toronto now has near-province status. The ability to tax, the ability to set user fees for services which are actually provincial jurisdiction, among other things. Hmmm... Smells a lot like american style cities.

Many states allow individual counties and cities to set their own sales tax rates. This is the road that Ontario is going down.

Another step closer to being the 51st state.


Fixed election dates.

Whoever thinks that this is democratic is wrong. Fixed election dates are anti-democratic.

Perhaps not as noticable when a real majority government is in place (75 - 80 % of seats), but in the case of a minority government, such as we have right now in Ottawa, fixed election dates maintain poor governments in power. Unless there is some way to have no-confidence motions passed and an election called, then I am 100% against fixed election dates.

Fixed election dates = american style voting = Ontario: america junior.


Though I agree with suspended or witheld operator licences for high school drop-outs, this is already a favourite means of encouraging education in many american states.

So On-terrible, you've got a 30 - 35 % drop out rate? Let me make a logical assumption:

  • your schools suck and they bore students into crime and drugs, or perhaps even working

  • your population is stupid and far too challenged by the secondary school education system

I will offer no suggestions on how to fix this perceived problem; you've already done that by restricting, nay profiling, your residents.


Bush admits that the war in Iraq is his fault.

He's likely making this suggestion to soften McGuinty to sell Bush some water.

Last Call!

Ontario is really shaping up to be more like On-merica.

Good luck bailing out your sinking ship. Hope you don't take the rest of us down too!

(BTW, voting in another Liberal government to Ottawa will likely guarantee the secession of Québec, and soon thereafter, the secession of Alberta as well.)

13 December 2005

i'm a bad 'christian'

# 1

The woman who killed her own grandson by starving him and locking him in an unheated room for most of his short life was beaten in the back of police prisoner transport van by another female inmate on the way to the courthouse. (Toronto Star source.)

This woman deserved what she got. I hope she gets a whole lot more of it. I'm suggesting 5 years worth of beatings while in prison.

# 2

Riots in Sydney Australia suburbs are all the rage. (CBC source.)

I read an article that had quoted a female beach patron who was tired by being called derogatory names by Muslims because she was wearing a bathing suit. Essentially, this is the type of intolerance to which the Muslim community treated the other beach patrons is what initiated the 'riots' [sic; media spin].

I call these 'rioters' the people speaking out in one unified voice trying to get the attention of their 'democratic' state leaders and officials and law makers.

The intolerance is NOT on the part of those who are speaking out against the Muslims (Lebanese mostly). The intolerance is on the part of the Muslim (Lebanese) immigrants who are ungrateful for the better life which Australia has provided for them, and now they take it out on innocent people. Just like a typical Muslim: can't handle a different point of view or belief system, so they mock it and attack it and fly planes into it.

I think a new word ought to be: Musmental.

If you come to my country and tell my sister she's a whore because she's not wearing a burqa, then FUCK YOU. I will throw a brick through your window too, smash up your car with a cricket bat, and perhaps even burn down your house. If your home country was so great with its Muslim, nay intolerant, ideology, why did you come to live here?

I stand in solidarity with the Aussies who are trying to get their unheard democratic voices heard. (As well as get their beaches back and make them safe again!)

To the neglectful government officials, I say: stop allowing the immigration of people whose culture and religion are intolerant of others.

I am intolerant of intolerance.

12 December 2005

Ellis on Psycho

While taking a piss in the men's room, I stare into a thin, web-like crack above the urinal's handle and think to myself that if I were to disappear into that crack, say somehow miniaturize [sic] and slip into it, the odds are good that no one would notice I was gone.





In fact some, if they noticed my absence, might feel an odd, indefinable sense of relief. This is true: the world is better off with some people gone. Our lives are not all interconnected. That theory is crock. Some people truly do not need to be here.

Ellis, Bret Easton.  American Psycho.  Vintage: New York NY, 1991, 226.

11 December 2005


etymology |ˌetəˈmäləjē|
noun ( pl. -gies)

the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history.
  ·the origin of a word and the historical development of its meaning.

Pentecostal |ˌpentəˈkôstl; -ˈkästl|

1 of or relating to Pentecost.
2 of, relating to, or denoting any of a number of Christian sects and individuals emphasizing baptism in the Holy Spirit, evidenced by speaking in tongues, prophecy, healing, and exorcism.


a member of a Pentecostal sect.

fundamentalism |ˌfəndəˈmentlˌizəm|

a form of Protestant Christianity that upholds belief in the strict and literal interpretation of the Bible, including its narratives, doctrines, prophecies, and moral laws.
  ·strict maintenance of ancient or fundamental doctrines of any religion or ideology

Pentecostal + fundamental = Pentemental


1 a person who is both Pentecostalist and fundamentalist, being of the form of fundamentalism which adheres only to those things which are strictly Pentecostalist; this person is very unstable; typically uneducated and subject to fits of emotional and irrational behaviours.
2 rarely, nay never, depicts anything that resembles true Christianity [Matthew 7:22-23].

09 December 2005

7 shades of Zoom!

After spending [investing?] $xxxx.xx at the orthodontist to have my teeth straightened, I was at my dentist for a checkup and cleaning when the receptionist suggested I get professional bleaching.

In comes Zoom!
Unfortunately, because this is a product which is only administered by a dentist, there actually isn't a good web site for it.

Zoom zoom zoom.

And another $xxx.xx to the dentist.

Because I have stolen the batteries from my camera to put in my keyboard and/or mouse, I can't provide any pictures right now, but then again, who wants to see my teeth?

Best yet, I made the Number 1 spot for the greatest number of tooth shades of improvement. There is some standardised scale which dentists use to base the shade increase against. They said that typically most of their patients go up 4 or 5 shades. The previous record holder went 6 shades whiter. I went 7.

And all for what? I'm not married or dating, so no one is actively currently kissing me. I also have no plans to be dating or married any time soon. No one at work noticed. My squash partner didn't notice. I even told a friend who was over for dinner that I couldn't make pasta because I couldn't eat red sauces for 24 hours, because I'd had my teeth whitened. He didn't even say anything or ask to see.

Meh, but at least I have whiter teeth. I think they may actually glow under black light now.

08 December 2005


Egg Nog

I recently purchased two litres of egg nog. Both lovingly prepared / manufactured by Lucerne Dairy, available at Safeway. The first was their 'holiday egg nog', the second was their 'gourmet egg nog'.

You may wonder, what's the difference? Aside from packaging and price, I wanted to know the same thing. That's why I bought both.

Texture: both have a similar viscosity and appearance, complete with little specks of what ought to be considered spices. The gourmet version was slightly darker in hue, under a standard 60 W light bulb.

Flavour: each had its own unique nog-ness. The holiday egg nog seemed more earthy and wholesome, actually tasting like eggs. The gourmet egg nog was slightly sweeter, and perhaps richer, but then the wholesome farm-fresh taste was missing. Slightly less eggy than the holiday version.

Overall: neither came out as suprior to the other. Disappointingly, I would likely be drawn to the gourmet egg nog for the 30¢ more, and this would be related to the same reason why I drink Starbucks instead of Tim's. It's the illusion of wealth. I can afford that extra 30¢ for egg nog, therefore I'm better than that person ahead of me in line who is buying the cheaper egg nog.

Gourmet egg nog does not come in a 'lite' version, only the holiday egg nog is available for the fat conscious.

Banning Handguns

Who's buying this Liberal propoganda? Haven't they already wasted enough money on the gun registry?

The problem isn't guns, it's people who kill people with guns. Need I suggest that the Liberals also ban chainsaws and butcher knives? Because people get killed by those too. Why not ban automobiles? More people die at the hands of other people who are driving cars!!!

Decent people who won't kill other people and have handguns are not something to be worried about, and it's only these people that any sort of control will be targetting, just as the gun registry has done.

If I want a gun to kill someone, I will more than likely bypass all the government red tape and just go buy one.

Seriously, every time Martin opens his mouth, I'm soured more and more by whatever he says. It's just pathetic.

Ironically, gun violence in Toronto is relatively low and has been decreasing since 1991. As well, the 2005 per captia murder rates in Toronto are lower than Winnipeg, Vancouver, Edmonton, and Calgary. I don't know what Toronto is complaining about. (CBC Source.)

John Lennon

Not like I have to tell anyone, but John Lennon was murdered 25 years ago today.

I've been sitting in my living room listening to all the Lennon vinyl I have. The post-mortem album "Milk and Honey" is absolutely...terrible.

I think that if there is a hell on earth, it cannot get much worse than listening to Yoko Ono singing. It's rather bad.

I wonder what it would be like to be rich and not worry about the simple things in life like paying bills and student loans on time and having to maintain a real job in order to pay those bills.

06 December 2005

under the influence

Recently reported by SSS, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind has "fast become one of [his] favourite movies".

Under this heavy influence, I purchased a previously enjoyed copy this evening at my local Rogers Video, utilising my RGC employee discount.

If I could erase someone from my memory, who would I erase?

Unfortunately, I cannot answer that question in due time. The better question to ask would be:

If I could erase everyone from my memory, who would I keep?

I once read Yancey's Where is God when it hurts? In this book, Yancey tries to answer the question for which the book received its title. The only problem I found in the book is this: Yancey only studied physical pain, and suggested remedies based on psychology. This error is tantamount to making the book useless by not answering the question of the title. Physical pain can be erased by bacteria. But this holds no power over spiritual pain. The antithesis of physical pain is leprosy. Yes, to feel no pain at all is basically to be infected with the mycobacterium leprae. The one thing that is available as the answer to not feeling pain is actually the one thing that has been viewed as the lowest of social standing by just about every culture since the beginning.

Spiritual pain. What is the spiritual leprosy to cure spiritual pain? The spotless mind. The eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

You'd be surprised to find out who is not on the list of people I would actually want to remember. It's quite short.

Don't be surprised really.

Come on! 14 bottles of wine in 5 weeks? You think it's because I like wine?

Why does anyone drink or smoke pot? Because a person hates is not satisfied with where he is at. Unable to remove the source of the pain, the best alternative is to numb it a bit, even if only for a few hours or days.

Joel and Clementine wanted to forget each other, and in the process realised that they loved each other.

I have attempted to love. But I have also been spurned every time. Infinite disappointment. Resurging waves of regret mingled with the desire to have realised from the beginning that no other person can love. All people are selfish and just after their own improvement. I am. I'm not. No, I would have given myself wholy. I've known that many times. Why didn't I? Because eventually I would become boring. Then I would be alone again. I'd rather just be alone. Not alone again.

But, I am alone again. Perpetual. Forever. Ceaseless. Alone.

I would rather be void and empty than carry this burden.

I want to feel nothing rather than everything.

04 December 2005

Sunday evening on 12 Street

This is from the bulletin of a church we attended a few weeks ago.

I like how they don't take any initiative or responsibility. Merely referring the seeker to "ask Jesus first, then contact us". Kind of sad really. In addition to this, no one greeted us, no one talked to us, no one offered to buy us lunch, no one offered to shove the gospel at us. Makes a person think about the modern or postmodern or even the emerging church: how is this relevant?

In preparation for moving, I realised I was past due to return my empties which had been piling up in the storage closet. 14 bottles of wine in about 5 weeks. Does that make me a wino?

wino |ˈwīnō| noun ( pl. -os) informal
a person who drinks excessive amounts of cheap wine or other alcohol, esp. one who is homeless.

Guess not. My wine isn't cheap and I'm not homeless. And what is excessive? 14 bottles in 5 weeks doesn't seem all that excessive to me.

02 December 2005

and she was damned by God as a harlot

To the legions of fans who have been awaiting my voice...I am back!!

I have just finished the most brutal week of moving and work. Well, the moving part was rough, and work was just mostly normal.

Two things to be excited about:

  1. egg nog

  2. federal election

Some opening points I have to make:

  • health care is a provincial ministry; I don't know why it's a federal election issue [this even baffled me in the june '04 campaign]

  • the BQ is not a federal party because they do not run candidates in a majority of ridings; as such, they should not be recognised by media outlets as having equal status with the other three (four?) main national parties

  • perhaps the Bloc should adopt some of my suggestions for campaign slogans:

    • 'tis the season for treason!

    • treasons greetings

    • ...or my personal favourite... fuck les anglophones

Being an Albertan, I think being debt free is the highest priority. Debt free without increased taxes. A socialist government would never be able to produce this while trying to remain a capitalist market. There would never be true pure socialism in Canada, because the government likes to make itself personally rich. (Merely consider the BC government, which after all the cuts to many public service sectors, freezing wages, cutting staff, unanimously approved a 15% pay increase for MLA's. WtF??) The other reason is that rich people want to remain rich, like Mr. Martin. You think Wal-Mart is deplorable for child labour practices in Bangladesh? Never ever forget Paul Martin's own Canada Steamship Lines. The man is highly unethical in his private business dealings, while being a Member of Parliament!!! If this is how he treats people who work for his own company, how and why is he being trusted as the Prime Minister of Canada? This alone boggles the mind more than anything else.
For more information on the extent to which Paul Martin is a sleaze, please visit: PaulMartinTime.ca. For an indepth report disclosing the true depth to which Paul Martin has personally dragged down the word Canada, visit the CBC's Disclosure report.

For the reason behind the title of this entry, go here.