25 November 2005

there's a new Saint Nick in the House

St. Paul....


Who's not disgusted yet by the drama unfolding in Ottawa?

From the latest headlines, it appears that St. Paul is attempting to buy votes. Announcing billions in spending for an assortment of projects all across Canada. Oh wait, except for Alberta. Some how, Alberta doesn't deserve any federal money. Likely because St. Paul knows that he can't sway solid thinking and sound minds by throwing money at them.

If any government in Ottawa wants to spend billions, (of my money), then it shouldn't be on anything but debt reduction. There are surpluses now, and for years, that have not gone to paying off the debt.

My greatest frustration are people in Ontario. I still hear the argument that suggests that the Conservative Party is a "western" party. Consider this: the Liberal Party, in addition to being many other things, is actually just an "eastern" party. The only voice the Liberals have is the Ontario voice. And remember, Ontario is not synonymous with Canada.

There will be an election, and there will be some change. I just hope and pray that the decent hard working people of Ontario will finally realise that putting another Liberal government in Ottawa is the worst thing, the most anti-Canadian thing, that could possibly be given to Canada at Christmas.

22 November 2005

in the house

Rick Casson is my Member of Parliament in Ottawa, part of the official opposition to the ruling authority of the corrupt Liberal government.

I could get political here, but why bother, those who agree with me, those are alive in a knowledge of Truth, would be bored, and those who disagree, those who are ultimately ignorant and whore their votes to the Red Pimp of Babylon, would just be stumped by the mindless drivel that has propagated through the brainwashing machine and rendered them incapable of independent thought apart from what King Paul would have them think.

The Hon. Mr. Casson has introduced Bill C-313, which would essentially increase the legal age of sexual consent from 14 to 16. This bill received first reading nearly a year ago, at which time it was defeated by everyone but the Conservative Party. Oddly enough, apparently, the parties which are representing the "majority" of Canadians, and therefore represent Canadians, are insisting that Canada wants 14 year old "adults" to have sex.

This means that a 40/60/80 year old can legally have sexual relations with a 14 year old, because they are both "adults".

I did some research into this, and basically this is what I've come up with:

  1. There are only two classes a person can be a member of at any time: child or adult.

  2. The age at which a person matures from child to adult is relative.

  3. Because the age of child/adult is relative, a person can be both a child and adult at the same time, but for different purposes.

When 16 (in most provinces), a person becomes an adult for the purpose of obtaining a licence to operate a motor vehicle.

When 18 (in Alberta), a person becomes an adult for the purpose of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

18 is actually the age at which most things become accessible, as the 18 year old person is now considered an "adult". (Except for auto insurance in Alberta and Ontario, where a person is only an adult when 25.)

18 is also the age at which a person can enter, browse, and then purchase or rent materials, from a pornography store.

Ok, wait a tick...

Is this for real?

A person can appear in a pornographic media legally and consentually, participating in sexual relations, at the age of 14.

Yet that same person cannot rent/purchase/view the pornographic media which they are depicted in until the age of 18.

To have sex, I am an adult at age 14. But I am a child at age 14 and cannot watch people having sex on recorded media, even if it is myself.

Pardon the pun, but that's just fucked.

20 November 2005

this is my new church

At a church this morning, the speaker suggested a list of many things which are "not enough".

Seemed a bit odd in the moment, but then he led into his list of four statements which "are enough".

  1. Believe in Jesus.

  2. Accept Jesus as your personal saviour and Lord.
    [What does that mean anyway?]

  3. Connect with a community of people who have already adhered to the above two items.

  4. Obey the Church/their church/the Bible.
    [This was stated rather ambiguously.]

Shockingly, there are three too many statements in this list.

Last time I checked, the only requirement for salvation, for "making it right with God", only consisted of one thing: believe in Jesus (John 3:16, and also further on in v.36).

Yes, this is narrow: it is only considering the New Testamental Christian view of soteriology. But I don't have time for any other considerations at this time, and I think they are stupid anyway.

This evening, instead of the traditional church service, I went to a different kind of religious gathering:


We played Texas Hold 'em. $5 to buy into the pot, then an equal amount of chips to each player, and the winner who takes all the chips takes the entire cash pot. Little blind and big blind started at 50 and 100 respectively, and then doubled every 15 minutes.

Seven players in total.

I bet relatively large on a hand I thought would win. But didn't. Then I was down to a miniscule pile of chips and basically sat back and rode it through the night, watching massive bets and piles of chips being shuffled across the table. I was always able to make the blinds.

And then...

With all the table talk and jabbing and that I was the 'new guy', and I think that most of the other people knew each other already, it was all a bit surreal and a blur.

But I got a full house 6-6-6-4-4, and took a sizeable pile of chips to keep me in the game (at that point only two people were out).

And then I waited a bit more.

Took a few more hands on high pairs.

And finally it was down to two of us: me and the game host.

First hand, I was dealer and he was big blind. I folded.

Second hand, I was big blind and dealer, and the host was little blind. I had more chips than him, but he went all in, so I matched him. He had a pair with the flop; I had nothing. But then on the river, I swept that pile of chips with a flush!!! Taking the glory and the $45 prize!!!

Playing poker is its own type of church. Even if I had lost, I accomplished more playing poker tonight than I did going to church this morning.

  • I connected with a community, and met knew people with whom I was able to develop relationships with, and will continue to do so at future poker nights.

  • I rode the emotional highs and lows and was able to be moved in spirit at the dynamic plight I was currently experiencing through external stimuli (akin to "worship music").

  • I obeyed the rules.

  • I still believe in Jesus.

Oh yeah, and I won too. When was the last time you went to church and put money in the offering plate and they had a 50/50 draw, or simply just gave all the money back to someone in the congregation for no reason at all, aside from being charitable?

This morning, I felt nothing. It was just another service. I wanted to leave immediately afterwards, I didn't want to stick around to talk to anyone or be fake.

This evening, I felt everything. It was essentially unique: my first poker night. I wasn't watching the clock at all, wondering when it was going to be over. At the end, it was affirmed and confirmed that poker night does happen weekly and that I am more than welcome, and that Dave is obliged to bring me back, because I won their money.

I see relevance in poker night. I see relevance in wine & cheese & Jesus night.

I don't see relevance in (a/any) church service.

16 November 2005


23 500 kilolitres.

That's roughly 23 500 000 litres.

Of cream.

And then there is 226 300 kilolitres of milk. 226 300 000 litres of milk.

Purchased in Canada during the month of September, 2005!

Wow! I mean, I had no idea.

But then, I suppose that it would be safe to estimate that each Canadian purchased about 7.8 litres of milk and/or cream in September. I can safely say that I purchase 10 litres of milk and cream every two weeks. Sometimes even 15 litres every two weeks. Therefore I would well above average, which is quite typical for me: to be above average.

To put this in perspective, that's 249.8 million litres of milk and cream...for one month!

If Chuck Guité had a dollar for every litre of milk and cream purchased in Canada in the month of September 2005, he could pay back all the money he stole.

Find information like that, and much more, each and every business day from The Daily. (Not the daily show, but The Daily, from Statistics Canada.)

13 November 2005

the hope of youth
fictitious truth
lays covered in a shroud

~ L.N.

The random blog link typically returns 98% shit, and 2% good reading.

I was hopelessly clicking the other day, when I randomly discovered A Year In Pictures Following The Break-Up. It's a bitterly sad and ultimately uplifting photo blog about a guy who's engagement ended and how he is moving on in life after the 'break-up'. Highly recommended reading. (It has made it to my RSS list.)

Something that hit me hard was said by a friend to the author of that blog.

You're talented but lazy. Wasting time is worse than fucking a baby.
(Search for it in his archives.)

Coincidentally, a friend of mine had recently said something similar...without the baby fucking thing. Perhaps he should have been a bit more abrasive, because I would have listened more attentively.

It's true!

I'm talented.

I'm lazy.

I'm wasting time.

I'm wasting myself.

10 November 2005

i know this because Chuck knows this. these are Chuck's words coming out of my mouth

"If you're male and you're Christian and living in [North] America, your father is your model for God. And if you never know your father, if your father bails out or dies or is never at home, what do you believe about God?"

This is all Tyler Durden dogma. Scrawled on bits of paper while I was asleep and given to me to type and photocopy at work. I've read it all. Even my boss has probably read it all.

"What you end up doing is you spend your life searching for a father and God."

"What you have to consider is the possibility that God doesn't like you. Could be, God hates us. This is not the worst thing that can happen."

How Tyler saw it was that getting God's attention for being bad was better than getting no attention at all. Maybe because God's hate is better than His indifference.

If you could be either God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?

We are God's middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention.

Unless we get God's attention, we have no hope of damnation or redemption.

Which is worse, hell or nothing?

Only if we're caught and punished can we be saved.

"Burn the Louvre and wipe your ass with the Mona Lisa. This way at least, God would know our names."

The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly. The farther you run, the more God wants you back.

"If the prodigal son had never left home, the fatted calf would still be alive."

It's not enough to be numbered with the grains of sand on the beach and the stars in the sky.

Palahniuk, Chuck. Fight Club. New York NY: W.W. Norton, 1995, 141.

08 November 2005

twosomes come in threes

  • Twice in two days, two different people thought it was prudent to inform me of the following:
    Les fonctions Bluetooth de votre téléphone et les niveaux de puissance de Classe 1 ne sont pas autorisés pour un usage extérieur en France. Pour éviter toute interférence illégale avec les signaux radio, n'utilisez pas les fonctions Bluetooth en France, à moins d'être à l'intérieur.

    Actually, no one read that in french. I just found the french to be very romantic sounding. Even sexual. But really, what it was is this:
    Your phone's Bluetooth features and Bluetooth Class 1 power levels are not allowed for outdoor operation in France. To avoid unlawful interference with radio signals, do not use the Bluetooth features in France unless you are indoors.

  • As I was reading through my list of blog RSS feeds, I found a comment on a blog that didn't make sense. It was Mark commenting on Luke's blog. Funny thing though, I don't have Luke linked and Mark and Luke don't know each other, but they do both know me. So I ask Mark, how did you find this blog to leave a comment? "I just clicked on 'next blog'." FREAKISH! Someone I know in Ontario clicks for a random blog and ends up on someone else's blog whom I also know, in Regina. WOW! But not only that. A couple minutes later, Mark sends me a link through messenger. Once again, he clicked on 'next' to get a random blog, and gets one that is not so random! We both know that blog author! He was our pastor!

  • Thomas, David, and myself (mostly myself) drank 2 bottles of wine tonight while consuming about $15 worth of assorted cheeses and crackers. Tuesday night is wine & cheese & Jesus night.

07 November 2005

but the half finished bottles of inspiration lie like ghosts in my room

20/20 in the morning

written & performed by Miranda Stone

i do my penance on the playground swing
till all of the bells in my sinning heart ring
driving rain chauffeurs me to redemption
working out my dishonourable mention
too little sleep and too much wine
makes even a bad thing look divine
gotta own up to my own this time
learn what to politely decline

this time is the last time, but this time is the last time

every time i go to get up and leave i get
worn and wasted like the cuff of my coat sleeve
two feet, two hands, two rubber bands
to mend the cracks of a sorry reprieve
broken people, they don't need to keep dry
left my umbrella at home in the closet with my disguise
wind and rain, wash away all the stains
that i spilled on my lap when i closed my eyes

this time is the last time, but this time is the last time
20/20 in the morning, 20/20 in the morning

i'm not like glue - i did not stick to my plans
i did not leave - till it was out of my hands
now i'm talking like this, like i always do
this was not fair to me, this was not fair to you

dollar store lady help me out a bit
i've got 3.95, what can i buy with it
looking for rhymes that are bitter sweet
no, you sold out of all your regret songs last week

this time is the last time, but this time is the last time
20/20 in the morning, 20/20 in the morning

This song has been pounding my ears from the iPod for many months now. It's one of those songs from an album that you don't really pay much attention to, focussing on other tracks instead. Just so much about it, the lines, and the way they are woven together. My favourites are: too little sleep and too much wine even make a bad thing look divine, and the dollar store lady verse.

Things I have learned in the past two weeks about myself:

  • I can drink an entire bottle of wine in one night without suffering a hangover the next morning

  • Fight Club is an awesome movie

  • though I do not blame anyone for my current life circumstances, I do recognise that the failed relationships that I have had with my mother and father(s) have done a great deal to get me to where I am today, positively and negatively

  • like the Foreigner song, I want to know what love is...

  • ex-girlfriends are like herpes: they never go away, you wish you never had them, they keep on hurting you just when you think they're gone, and having Jesus is better

  • I drink pinot noir, because I am a loser, just like the character Miles in the film Sideways

  • Bob Dylan has written many of the world's best songs ever

  • I have never fully loved anyone

  • even on the last glass of pinot noir, I want more; I should have bought two bottles

  • drinking wine is cheaper than beer, and it's legal, unlike smoking marijuana (fucking Liberals and their lies and unfulfilled promises; I'd vote to separate if it ever comes to ballot, just to get the fucking Liberals off of my tax dollars)

And to that bitch. You know who you are.

it ain't no use in callin' out my name, babe
like you never did before
it ain't no use in callin' out my name, babe
i can't hear you anymore
i'm a-thinkin' and a-wonderin' all the way down the road
i once loved a woman, a child i'm told
i gave her my heart but she wanted my soul
don't think twice, it's all right

so long honey babe
where i'm bound, i can't tell
goodbye's too good a word, babe
so i'll just say fare thee well
i ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
you could have done better but i don't mind
you just kind of wasted my precious time
but don't think twice, it's all right

01 November 2005

stupid quizzes

slightly depressing.

This Is My Life, Rated
Take the Rate My Life Quiz