30 June 2006

Lois Lane is the Madonna

...and Madonna had sex with Jesus about five years before the Genesis.

Are critics ever right?

How often are they wrong?

Well, with Superman Returns, they are wrong.

But don't let me spoil it for you.

Go see the modern day Messiah for yourself.

(There is no Easter egg.)

[Parker Posey steals the show.]

29 June 2006

.::. i got carded .::.


I was in Waterton on Saturday.

We went for a speed hike. Which was ultimately a waste of time.

Then we went to Cameron Lake and lay on the dock and got sun burnt.

Next we went to the Prince of Wales hotel to use the bathroom.

I was hungry, so I went in the lounge and ordered a pint and a poutine.

Server: "I'll have to see some ID."

Me: hands my operator's licence over to Server.

Server: stares at operator's licence for in inordinate amount of time.

Server: handing back operator's licence: "oh, April...."


I think: what does April have to do with anything?

What about the 197x birth year?

Anthony said she was memorising my address.

Mrs. Unger said she was checking for my sign. Aries or Taurus?

Dodge or Ford?

Waiting for superman is good. Stupid fucking ignorant high school teens suck. They are pissing me off.

If I had a gun......I'd hope for enough bullets to riddle the corpses of these fuckers.

(And now, I bet I'm a threat and CSIS or RCMP are watching me.)

28 June 2006

Israel 1 - palestine 0

I'm tired of hearing about this tiresome and boring conflict.

The land belongs to Israel now. As it once did a long time ago. Any others were just squatting.

As long as Hamas and others promote violence against a soveriegn ruler, or anyone else, they do not deserve sympathy or protection or endorsement from any source.

Good on Israel for stepping up and taking control of a chaotic mess. Hopefully they will finish the task that Joshua started.

21 June 2006

people irritate me

And that is why I'm an introvert.

I could have hurt someone by now!

(The moustache is looking porntastic! Or pimptastic, whichever you prefer.)

13 June 2006

when RSS is too slow for you...

Updated content. That's what the net is all about. And how to manage all that content?


But even that is a bit too slow at times. It's pull technology. And you've got to have some device or service polling and pulling. I may have to wait up to 15 minutes to know when something has been updated!

Well, I stumbled upon MSN Alerts. And I signed up. You will notice a link in the right side navigation window under "more me".

You can sign in to your passport, and then subscribe to the MSN Alerts of my blog! Brilliant service. You choose: MSN messenger alert, email, SMS. I like SMS. Then I know NOW that I've updated myself.

And now you can too.

Thank you for reading, my loyal legion(s) of fan(s). My blog runneth over.

10 June 2006

sexier than Tom Jones .::. part 2

In honour of Burton Cummings, I am growing a moustache. I started today by not shaving my upper lip. For those who don't know me, this will be a long and arduous web journey. It will take about 3 months. I usually only have to shave twice a week.

Shave #1

The last time I didn't shave, it was for the summer of 1998. I did get a decent moustache, but the rest only looked like patchy dirt from a day working around dirt. It was not impressive at all. However, my moustache will be blond. And the ends of it, if I remember correctly, will flow freefully into my mouth.


09 June 2006

sexier than Tom Jones

Randy Bachman and Burton Cummings are back again on a tour across Canada: First Time Around 2006.

I'm too giddy to write about it now, however, here is the song list from the show, along with my liner notes, typed on my BlackBerry live during the concert.

I didn't even have tickets. At $76 each, I wasn't even in the market. However, I got a call 4 minutes before the opening act started, my friend Scott had two extra tickets and wanted to know if I wanted them.

Third row centre, on the floor. Literally, 15 feet from Randy and Burton.


american woman

albert flasher

these eyes

you ain't seen nothing yet

(I need more cow bell!!)

timeless love

clap for the wolfman

let it ride

hand me down world

no sugar tonight / new mother nature

prairie town

fine state of affairs

hey you

(I need more piano cam!!)


(Burton on FLUTE!!!)


star baby

looking out for number 1

got my own way to rock

(only Dave scats more than Burton)

break it to them gently

no time


share the land


takin care of business

(my head hurts from screaming)

06 June 2006

my breath smells like cat food

Tonight, I finally crashed my wagon, broke down and purchased a Safeway meatloaf. Not just any old loaf, but rather a homestyle meatloaf, precooked, ready to eat, and fresh from the Safeway oven.....four hours ago.....and only $6.99!!

I had to dig down through all the $7.99 precooked, ready to eat, fresh from the Safeway oven, homestyle slow roasted chickens to find a meatloaf. And for my toils, there was not one, but three meatloafs. Or is it meatloaves?

I got to smell the glorious meatloaf all the way home! I could barely contain my glee! The homestyle meatloaf is topped with a rich tomato glaze! (I think it is burnt ketchup.)

Well, I was not fully disappointed. Though I do believe I now know how cat food must taste. Perhaps not cat food. Maybe a step above, university or military food.

However, I am still in awe of one thing, which also happens to be the catalyst for this post, the surprising unexpected ingredient.

Dehydrated potato.

Not plural, but singular.

Here is my challenge to you, oh blog reader, find a surprising and unexpected ingredient in any item of prepared food.

Items disallowed are:
- unpronounceable chemicals, additives, colours, and/or flavours
- notations to indicate kosher-ness
- allergy cautioning

Basically, it's got to be real food stuff, but also on-label and surprising and unexpected.

Let's all get fat and malnourished together!

This post was brought to you by:

Research In Motion

BlackBerry 7100r

Rogers Wireless / Rogers Sans Fils

And my left thumb.

05 June 2006

CD Rom #23

CD Rom #23

The Lord is my icon
I shall not font
He maketh me to download the good software
He leadeth me beside the cool websites
He rebooteth my soul

Yea though I surf through the virus of the email of death
I shall spam no porno
For Thou files art with me
Thy mouse and Thy pad, they comfort me

Thou preparest a webcam for me in the presence of my buddy list
Thou annointest my disc with zip
My blog runneth over
Surely hotmail and myspace will follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in this house
With mom, for ever and ever
Are you sure you want to say amen?


Live long and prosper

~~written and performed by John Wing Jr. on DNTO~~