06 December 2007

Soccer & Hijabs



Seriously, I'm so tired of hearing about this.

Here's a tip:


No one is asking Muslim teens to wear crotchless panties and push-ups!

Let's look at the other side of this story.

I have a friend who is female and worked for an NGO and often travelled in ultra-hardcore Muslim areas, and when she travelled there, she did not demand that men suffer the shame of lust for gazing at her beauty, she wore a burqa.

When in Rome.....

25 November 2007

23 November 2007

I'm a total loser

I've finally accepted my fate and realised that I have no real friends.

Therefore I decided that I should at least attempt to discover and create some virtual friends.

Find me on Facebook.

15 November 2007

Red Dog Diner

A new totally amazing and awesome diner opened in downtown Lethbridge:

Red Dog Diner

Montréal style hot dogs, smoked meat, and poutine. Best part, it's a family owned business run by Québeckers.

This poutine is the real deal: cheese curds and all. (Pictured is my favourite so far, galvaude poutine, a house specialty with grilled chicked and green peas. Mmm mmm....c'est très bonne!

Hours: pretty much open when you're hungry; until midnight every day but Friday and Saturday, that's when they're open until 4 am. Lethbridge is finally getting some cool.

Moi, je l'aime.


View Larger Map

09 November 2007

Study Finds Working At Work Improves Productivity

Study Finds Working At Work Improves Productivity

The Onion

Study Finds Working At Work Improves Productivity

WASHINGTON, DC—The groundbreaking research found that by simply sitting down and doing work, employees can dramatically increase their output of goods and services.

05 November 2007


I can hardly wait to see this!

25 October 2007

the way [someone else] see[s] it #291

In a world where celebrity equals talent, and where make-believe is called reality, it is most important to have real love, truth and stability in your life.

~~ Bernie Brillstein ~~
from my Starbucks cup

13 August 2007

I'm all thumbs!

Editor's Note

Written by Guerin Lee Green
Saturday, 11 August 2007

Strangely, while many readers have grasped that "Surgically alters thumbs" represents satirical social commentary, many on the internet, alas, have not. Careful reading of the piece makes it clear to any critical consumer of information that the piece is pure humor and not news or reported as fact.

Among the points of the piece: that U.S. society accepts plastic surgery and decorative deformation of the human body for vanity, but not other reasons (consider the Bonds steroid stories); that technology has become a new cult phenomena, in which items are praised or ridiculed based upon tribal allegiances instead of functionality and performance (and we are members of the Cult of the Mac- iPhone division); and we like to pretend that some of our writers have a sense of humor.

For those who have "debunked" the HUMOR [sic] piece, thanks for pointing out that there are no muscles in the thumbs (BTW, there are muscles in the thumb), and that the timeline from iPhone release to successful surgery is pure fantasy. Also "whittling"?!?! Come on, pollexplasty, from the Latin for thumb, pollex, perhaps, but not whittling!!

Additionally, many commentators have derided Mr. Martel for stupidity first and foremost, which may indicate something about their credulity. In an era when fake news, like Paris Hilton, has crowded out real news and public debate, the lesson is that skeptical consumption of information, whether from the North Denver News, the New York Times, or the National Review, is a must.

By the way, for odd skeptics, the North Denver News is a monthly community newspaper serving Northwest Denver, with about 35,000 readers. The North Denver News is entering our sixth year of publication, and along with our sister paper, The Cherry Creek News, are the largest community news presence in Denver. Our web presence, which features stories from the paper as well as other news, satire and commentary, is updated several times weekly, and will do about a million page views in calendar 2007.

FYI, there is no Thomas Martel (aka Tommy the Hammer) or Dr. Ben Fox Spars. The Fox of course, is reference to Fox News (aka Faux News). James Benfly is fictive as well, the nom de plume of one of our writers. And thanks to Franz Kafka, who must be smiling upon this whole episode.

Apparently, I'm one of those internet people who was taken in by this piece of satire.

10 August 2007

Man surgically alters thumbs to better use iPhone

This just in from the North Denver News:

Written by James Benfly
Wednesday, 08 August 2007

Thomas Martel, 28, of Bonnie Brae is a big guy. So he has a hard time using the features on ever-shrinking user interfaces on devices like his new iPhone. At least, he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as "whittling."

"From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explains Martel. "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless."

"This is really, on the edge sort of stuff," explains Dr. Robert Fox Spars, who worked on developing the procedure.
"We're turning plastic surgery from something that people use in service of vanity, to a real tool for improving workplace efficiency."

The procedure involved making a small incision into both thumbs and shaving down the bones, followed by careful muscular alteration and modification of the fingernails. While Martel's new thumbs now appear small and effeminate in comparison to his otherwise very large hands, he says he can still lift "pretty much anything I could lift before the surgery - though opening spaghetti sauce jars has been a problem. That was a big surprise."

09 August 2007


At the Lethbridge International Air Show on Sunday, I found myself sitting beside some U.S. Air Force guy, who was on exchange with DND and stationed at CFB Comox on the Island.

He had an iPhone. He let me touch the iPhone.

Then he showed me how the iPhone works. And by the way, the iPhone works on Rogers; he was able to everything here that he can in the US.

I’ve still got shivers.

05 August 2007

lightly raining

It's lightly raining right now.

I can't remember when it rained last; sometime in May. It's pretty brown in Lethbridge and very brown in Southern Alberta. And you cannot include those areas with watered lawns or irrigated fields.

Happy Heritage Day!

02 August 2007

the incredible month

July has brought no posts and massive life events.

Krap at work. Bla bla bla, politics and bureacracy and a little bit of lip balm.

Other stuff too.

Good, bad?

Right now, I don't know. Ask me again in a few months. I may know something then.

02 July 2007

climb every mountain

On Saturday of the Canada Day long weekend, my housemate and I travelled to Waterton Lakes National Park where we hiked to the top of Lineham Ridge (check out the Park map).

Check out my photo blog here.


  • Nearing the top, I was struggling with drive to continue, so I suggested that we just cut straight up to the top at where we were (the trail followed a quasi-switchback up the ridge, so we were walking parallel to the top of the ridge). It was only about 10 m to the top. We scrambled up through the scree and shale to the top. My previous ascent of Akamina Ridge proved that both sides sloped gently up. Not so with Lineham Ridge. We were on the sloped side, and the other side was most definitely a cliff of dizzying height. Height does not bother me at all, the falling does. I was so paralyzed with fear, I couldn't even get close to the edge. I had to crawl on my belly and then reach my arms out over the edge to take a picture. I couldn't even watch Mike go close to the edge.

  • At the top of Lineham Ridge, I could see Akamina Ridge and Wall Lake, which were both much lower in elevation, in the distance (just about in the very middle of this picture). That's cool, because now I've climbed a second mountain and it was higher than the first.

  • We must have started later than "normal", because on our ascent we met many groups making their descent. And all of them put us to shame! They were bundled up in winter clothing, with real hiking boots, walking poles, and touques!!! (Seriously, it wasn't that cold!! It was actually quite warm.) At one snow patch, where we allowed the descenders to pass, we discussed how they made it look so difficult to walk through snow. Then when we did it, it wasn't all that difficult.

  • On our descent, we only met with one group of three who were going to the summit. We looked back to see them much further up the trail than we had been at the same point during our ascent. We joked around about them meeting us on their way down. As we reached the trailhead, there were a couple of people standing by a car, and I jokingly commented about how it was the group of three having not only beat us, but passed us without notice. Seconds later, as we were getting into the car, the two people started cheering and the three came running down to the trailhead!!! I felt so lazy and fat!

Happy Canada Day!

13 June 2007


I was filling out a web application for a frequent movie goer points card (it's not too bad, especially if you see a lot of movies; check out Scene), and I got to the point on the applicaton as noted in the above image.

Why is "single" listed at the bottom?
As though being single is in last place?
Or the worst possible thing?
Even worse than widowed?

The world of Tomorrow....

It's bad enough for windows that Tiger is about 10 years ahead of vista, but it's only getting worse for MS, as Apple is getting ready to launch Leopard.

Some day, the world will know!

But it's not going to be today. Or yesterday.

Apple released Safari 3 Beta, which also runs in windows. I promptly downloaded and installed on my windows box at work, and quickly uninstalled it within 24 hours. Too many crashes. Too many even for windows. Though I am not surprised.

I don't blame Apple for released an Alpha and claiming it to be a Beta. I do blame MS for making such a crappy OS, that a developer has to waste time figuring out how to create a safe app, instead of the OS being a safe environment.

I'm sure it will get better. But really, I've never liked the feel of Apple apps on windows. They are always much better on a Mac.

In fact, everything is better on a Mac.

15 May 2007

the Seven Wonders of Canada

CBC has a shortlist of 50 nominations for the Seven Wonders of Canada.

My picks are:

  • Northern Lights
    Not much is better than a warm night lying on a beach, or going for a swim, watching the northern lights dance across the sky

  • Prairie Skies
    You just won't get it until you see it. I will likely always live on the prairies for the sky.

  • Spiral Tunnels
    Not just the spiral tunnels through Kicking Horse, but the rail lines in general (and don't for the High Level Bridge in Lethbridge!). The engineering marvel of the Canadian railway system, and that over a hundred years ago! Linking communities and towns to cities and the coasts. Awe-inspiring.

  • The Canoe
    The Canoe is the predecessor to the railway. Without it, relatively quick and easy travel in Canada would never have been possible.

  • The Rockies
    My backyard playground. Whether it's hiking, biking, skiing, camping, or skinny dipping, the Rockies are never boring or tiresome. I can't imagine living away from them.

  • Trans Canada Highway
    Again with the transportation theme, the T-C has bourne the weight of many of my trips in that old VW Jetta, among other modes of transporation. I have driven / ridden on most of the Trans Canada, from Vancouver to Sudbury, and Montréal to Moncton and Charlottetown. I have also driven / ridden on the entire Crows Nest Trail, from Medicine Hat to Hope. If you've done #1, it's a dump compared to #3. My ultimate road trip would be to drive the entire highway.

  • The Igloo
    It's just amazing how snow can be used to make a liveable shelter, which protects the inhabitants from the same thing that its made of! I can recall many snow-fort building expeditions from my youth.

View the results.

13 May 2007

Moses Mayes

If you discover most of your new "music" from commercial radio, then stop reading.

Recently while in fabulous Las Vegas Nevada for a business trip, I met a member of Moses Mayes, as he was there representing a company on the exhibit floor.

The conversation started around me being from Lethbridge, and his band was going to playing here in the near future (but alas, they now are not, as they got a better gig offer to play in Canmore on the same night! Lethbridge's loss).

In the blur and haze which constantly surrounds one while in Las Vegas, I was actually able to remember that I met this band member, and the name of the band, which I easily googled.

It's not often that I find some so fresh and so innovative, that I've got to blog about it.

Moses Mayes is not easily defined, as they transcend most labels. The best possible application for their style would be a foundation of funk fusion and acid jazz, and that all mixed together and coming out somewhere in between on the other side.

I highly recommend this group from friendly Winnipeg Manitoba. Check them out! You shan't be disappointed.

Moses Mayes on iTunes:

12 May 2007

love the ride

I have been cycling on my sport hardtail, a Rocky Mountain Fusion for four years now. I love the ride. I bike whenever I can. All Christmas's but the most recent, it was nice enough to head out for a 10 km ride in the afternoon.

However, a sport hardtail has its purpose, and is therefore limited when being used for other types of rides.

The craving, nay lust, for a road bike set in over a year ago, but just to make sure that it was a prolonged emotion, I waited for a full year before permitting myself to indulge.

And now I have.

Introducing the newest member to my family:

the Rocky Mountain Solo 10

The "10" indicates the component level; this frame comes in three levels of components, 10, 30, 50, each having better components than the predecessor. As I don't know how good I will be, getting the starter level will likely be adequate for my needs.

I've paid the deposit for my bike store to order it in (not a stock item; too expensive for the average bike purchaser), and the expected arrival date is Thursday. Updates to follow!

11 May 2007

More seats in the House

As reported on CBC today, the Minister of Democratic Reform (I've learned of a new ministry today!) has introduced a bill to address population growth concerns as related to adequate representation in the House.

Under the proposal, Alberta and British Columbia will both gain seats, five and seven each respectively.

The problem is that Ontario would be on schedule to receive an additional 10 seats!!! I have issue with this.

Ontario is already over-represented in the House. Onatario decides the government. Ontario has too much sway in Ottawa, Ontario.

However, not to fret, this change wouldn't be implemented until 2017. Wow! That's such a big number! And it's also ten years from now.

10 May 2007

thinking about some things just makes me ill

Let's impeach the President for lying
And misleading our country into war
Abusing all the power that we gave him
And shipping all our money out the door

Who's the man who hired all the criminals
The White House shadows who hide behind closed doors
They bend the facts to fit with their new stories
Of why we have to send our men to war

Let's impeach the President for spying
On citizens inside their own homes
Breaking every law in the country
By tapping our computers and telephones

What if Al Qaeda blew up the levees
Would New Orleans have been safer that way
Sheltered by our government's protection
Or was someone just not home that day?

Flip - Flop
Flip - Flop
Flip - Flop
Flip - Flop

Let's impeach the president for hijacking
Our religion and using it to get elected
Dividing our country into colors
And still leaving black people neglected

Thank god he's cracking down on steroids
Since he sold his old baseball team
There's lots of people looking at big trouble
But of course our president is clean.

~ Neil Young : "let's impeach the president", from Living with War

07 May 2007

blogger's block

Having been away for two weeks, first a near week in Las Vegas for NAB and then for 10 days in Toronto, and then suffering through a week back at work and at home, I have come to notice that I have not blogged.

And it's for the block I have that I have not blogged.

However, I have finally updated the Films Blog. So if you're needing a little Lewie tonight, then feel free to check out what films and movies I have been watching lately.

And let this be my acknowledgement that I will make an effort to be more consistent with my blogging. I know I have a few loyal readers out there....somewhere.

12 April 2007

I feel dirty

Yesterday, there was a visitor from the Calgary office.

He needed network access, and to set up his laptop with our wifi I had to use his computer.


Windows Vista.

Where is my Purell?

19 March 2007


After being stupidly lazy for over a month, I have finally updated my films blog.

Get ready! There are quite a few.

the films blog

18 March 2007

the neon bible

Has the youth of today (those 20 somethings) already so readily forgotten the 80's?

Arcade Fire is being hailed as this amazing new "indie" rock band which is so new that there has never been anything like them ever before....EVER.

The Cure.

The Clash.

Early U2. (Think "war".)

Pretty much any punk-esque rock from the 80's would sound just like this Arcade Fire.

But I'm not slagging them at all! I loved the 80's! I still do! And Arcade Fire is a great band with meaningful music. Much unlike the ilk which is shovelled by the shit-load-full by the music industry.

Intervention has the most poignant lyric in the chorus for me right now:

working for the church while your family dies
you take what they give you
you keep it inside
every spark of friendship and love will die without a home
hear the soldier groan all quiet and alone

been working for the church while your life falls apart
they're singing hallelujah when defeating your heart
every spark of friendship and love will die without a home
hear the soldier groan all quiet and alone

Read into that what you will, but I know what it says to me. Church sucks the life out of people while it kills them slowly. And for what?

02 March 2007

Fahrenheit 449

Starbucks brews its coffee with water heated by volcanic lava.

This process ensures that the beverage will be HOT!!!

Just two degrees below that point where the paper cup containing your beaned beverage woudl spontaneously combust.

This way, your $6 coffee feels like its bigger than the 20oz venti because lasts longer because one must wait a half-life in order to imbibe the coffee without melting dental work.

I've had too much caffeine today.

07 February 2007

the inversion

From the top of Kicking Horse; taken on my BlackBerry.

06 February 2007

Death Snack

I made this as part of a larger feature film. The original intended audience is deathly allergic to peanuts.

19 January 2007



1. To embark on a doomed quest: "his feet bare, armed only with a butter knife, he ignatieffed into the jungle at dusk"

2. To smile in a manner that suggests the very act of smiling is causing you tremendous discomfort

07 January 2007

Tyler, Donnie, and my brain book

   Tyler Durden
+ Donnie Darko
+ a book on neuroscience I am currently reading
= my imaginary friend

On Christmas Eve, while at the gym getting dressed after the shower, this other guy says something to me, and I cannot remember what it was, because I was in initial shock that someone at the gym had actually spoken to me.
I've been going there for four years, and I haven't really found it to be all that friendly. Some people know each other already and chat in the change room, but I rarely see people strike up conversations over the tread mill or bench press.
I thought it was quite ironic that while I was in the midst of bemoaning the holidays and being alone and friendless, a stranger was actually friendly.

I had never seen this guy before, and I doubted I would see him again.

Then on New Year's Day, I saw him again! He was watching hockey on the tv in the change room and sat down and was watching as well (as I often do). We had a minimal conversation about the game, and at some point he said something about playing squash. As he was leaving, I offered to play squash with him; which led to a bit of a real conversation, and as we were walking outside I mentioned to him that he was the first person who had ever spoken to me at the gym, and that I was kind of impressed by it. We agreed to meet on Tuesday to play squash. But he wasn't there.

Then I watched Donnie Darko Tuesday evening after squash.

And I kept reading through my brain book, Why We Believe What We Believe, by Andrew Newberg.

And I remembered Tyler Durden.

Then I began to think that my gym-friend was actually imaginary.

Now I think I'm going crazy.

I've not been able to verify with anyone else that this guy is real!

I didn't see him all week at the gym.

But then I finally saw him last night. And though we spoke briefly, I realised afterwards that no one else was around! And it was very non-committal, just first name, no phone number (for setting squash times or going skiing). And it also seems a bit strange that his physical pursuits are the same as mine.

Being concerned for my phsyological state of mind, after "Tyler" (I'm using a pseudonym; I don't want to disclose the name of my imaginary friend) left the change room, and I was stunned by the reality that no one else was involved in our conversation, and the fact that I could have imagined the whole thing was sinking in, I noticed another guy by the lockers, and I asked him if I was just talking to someone.

He looked nonplussed. But then when I mentioned Fight Club and the possiblility that I am crazy and have an imaginary friend, he seemed to understand what I was talking about. He acknowledged that I was indeed speaking with someone, though he did not know who it was. Nor had he seem him frequently at the gym.

Perhaps I was talking to myself.

Perhaps I was imagining it.

He wasn't there today, even though he said he was going to be.

I cannot prove "Tyler" to my housemate.

Having an imaginary friend would make sense, given my current circumstances.

01 January 2007

how did I miss this???

This would have totally improved my Christmas cheer....if I had found it two weeks ago!

Nothing is more divine than O, come all ye faithful to the tune of We're not gonna take it!

the most unique beer....ever

This is officially the most unique tasting brew I have yet to discover.

It's not so red in colour, like Carlsberg Red or Rickard's Red. But it is an amber ale, and it's...got something I can't quite explain.

But it is good.

I think.

And it's a microbrew from Canmore Alberta.

You be the judge:

The Grizzly Paw Brewing Company