19 October 2005

beeswax, squash, wine & cheese & Jesus

I am not hairy, nor am I hairless. I am somewhere in between. Let's call it manageable. Pretty much on a 3 - 4 week rotation. Yes, I do have my aesthetician. Her name is Stacey. I am Stacey's Jack.

Today I was in for the routine eye brow maintenance. However, it had been a few weeks longer than normal because Stacey was on holiday when it would have been our normal time together. I was looking the part of the lumberjack quite well. Eyebrows returned, I ask if she's got time for something else [wink] [wink]. I was her last client for the day. I lift up my hoodie to reveal my second puberty of chest hair. (Relatively akin to a second baptism, and about as Biblical too.)

Chest hair.

Yes, I don't recall ever having chest hair until some time after I turned 25. And in the past few months, it seems to be multiplying at exceptional rates. Sure, a 300% increase will yield 24 hairs, but it's still quite discomforting and an affront to my manhood and masculinity. (Real men are not hairy. Real men maintain themselves to be attractive. Big fat bushels of body hair are not attractive, on men or women.) How can I maintain the look of a 24 year old, if I've got big phat black hairs growing several inches long out of my nipples?

I didn't have enough cash on me due to adding the last minute chest waxing. Therefore I had to go back to my office, where my wallet was, to get my debit card. No worries, it's across the alley.

By the time I'm back, Stacey is already gone, and my bill is waiting with the receptionist. $15.

$10 + $5 = $15.

I had two items waxed. My eyebrow and my chest (meaning, my nipples and the other four hairs in the middle of where my pectoral cleavage would be if I went to the gym regularly).

Eyebrow to eyebrows:

$10

Chest wax:

$5


Now, I'm reasonably inclined towards mathematics and business math. A job is charged at a certain rate, and other jobs are typically charged at corresponding rates on some scale of comparison of work involved.

If my eyebrow costs $10 and my chest costs $5, what exactly does this mean?

Seriosly, I'm asking.




Played squash tonight, as per the regular Wednesday evening schedule.

Sweating and chafing and pink nipples sore from having their hairs ripped out with beeswax and cheesecloth is not a desirable combination.

Unless you're some type of socially acceptable masochist, sexual or non.

But I suppose that the only type of socially acceptable masochist must be deriving said pleasure from a non-sexual masochism, if such a thing is possible. Semantics? Etymological impacts?




Last night I had my very first official wine and cheese gathering.

Gouda.

Havarti.

Aged cheddar.

Whole wheat Bretons.

Reduced salt Triscuits.

...and...

A dry red Pinot Noir from the Okanagan, grown and bottled by Inniskillin (I put the link here somewhat unwillingly as the deeper parts of their web site are horribly outdated; I couldn't find any information about the bottle or vintage which I purchased).




We sat and relaxed and drank Pinot and ate cheese and crackers and discussed Jesus.

It was a great night. Which will apparently be repeated every Tuesday as we are fed up with the lame "bible study" (which is actually quite Bible-free most nights) some of us have been attending and are now starting our own rogue 'study'.


W3JD?

No comments: