Tyler, Donnie, and my brain book

   Tyler Durden
+ Donnie Darko
+ a book on neuroscience I am currently reading
= my imaginary friend

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On Christmas Eve, while at the gym getting dressed after the shower, this other guy says something to me, and I cannot remember what it was, because I was in initial shock that someone at the gym had actually spoken to me.

I've been going there for four years, and I haven't really found it to be all that friendly. Some people know each other already and chat in the change room, but I rarely see people strike up conversations over the tread mill or bench press.

I thought it was quite ironic that while I was in the midst of bemoaning the holidays and being alone and friendless, a stranger was actually friendly.

I had never seen this guy before, and I doubted I would see him again.

Then on New Year's Day, I saw him again! He was watching hockey on the tv in the change room and sat down and was watching as well (as I often do). We had a minimal conversation about the game, and at some point he said something about playing squash. As he was leaving, I offered to play squash with him; which led to a bit of a real conversation, and as we were walking outside I mentioned to him that he was the first person who had ever spoken to me at the gym, and that I was kind of impressed by it. We agreed to meet on Tuesday to play squash. But he wasn't there.

Then I watched Donnie Darko Tuesday evening after squash.

And I kept reading through my brain book, Why We Believe What We Believe, by Andrew Newberg.

And I remembered Tyler Durden.

Then I began to think that my gym-friend was actually imaginary.

Now I think I'm going crazy.

I've not been able to verify with anyone else that this guy is real!

I didn't see him all week at the gym.

But then I finally saw him last night. And though we spoke briefly, I realised afterwards that no one else was around! And it was very non-committal, just first name, no phone number (for setting squash times or going skiing). And it also seems a bit strange that his physical pursuits are the same as mine.

Being concerned for my phsyological state of mind, after "Tyler" (I'm using a pseudonym; I don't want to disclose the name of my imaginary friend) left the change room, and I was stunned by the reality that no one else was involved in our conversation, and the fact that I could have imagined the whole thing was sinking in, I noticed another guy by the lockers, and I asked him if I was just talking to someone.

He looked nonplussed. But then when I mentioned Fight Club and the possiblility that I am crazy and have an imaginary friend, he seemed to understand what I was talking about. He acknowledged that I was indeed speaking with someone, though he did not know who it was. Nor had he seem him frequently at the gym.

Perhaps I was talking to myself.

Perhaps I was imagining it.

He wasn't there today, even though he said he was going to be.

I cannot prove "Tyler" to my housemate.

Having an imaginary friend would make sense, given my current circumstances.